How To: Win Friends in a New Class

Who is Kyle Greenberg and why should we trust him?

Greenberg graduated from APU in 2010 with a degree in Communications.  He watches Family Guy and 30 Rock.  He loves God, loves others, and is interested in cupcakes.  Right now he’s working on his Master’s Degree.  He’s a genius!  TRUST HIM.  Everyone is a friend to Kyle; let’s hear from him how we can attain his level of success in our own friendships:

“How to Win Friends in a New Class”  By: Kyle Greenberg

So as everyone knows, entering a new semester can be scary, and in my opinion, one of the most-scary scary things is entering all of your new classes. So, here are some tips on how to win yourself some new friends in your new classes!

1. Dress up. When applying and interviewing for jobs, they say you should dress for the job you want. Well, I say you should dress for the friend you want! Ladies, bring out the pantsuits and shoulder-padded blazers. Gentlemen, nothing short of a three-piece is acceptable. Everybody likes a cool cat and a foxy lady. Especially at 8AM. And even more especially-er when the class calls for athletic garb.  Remember that.
2. Use any and every discussion time to talk about yourself. Seriously, your classmate will love all of your anecdotes, diatribes, analogies, soliloquies, and vignettes. Remember, people like people who talk about themselves to near inappropriate levels.
3. If you are not quite ready to turn every conversation onto yourself, you can always settle for second best: Summarize what someone else just said. Good summary skills are indicative of initiative and comprehension. The next time you find yourself in a classroom discussion with nothing to say, raise your hand and start off with, “I’m going to piggyback what Robby just said”. Then, just recite the contrapositive (that is grown-up language for a claim formed by switching the subject and predicate terms of a categorical claim, and replacing both by their complementary terms. Duh) of whatever Robby just said. For instance:

Robby: I think that if Rosa Parks had not stayed in the front of that bus, then  the civil rights movement would not have happened when it did.

You: I’m going to piggyback what Robby said, for the civil rights movement to happen when it did, Rosa Parks had to stay in the front of that bus.

Boom! You just made like 3 friends.

4. If you really just can’t master 2 or 3, simply ask questions. A simple, “Can you explain how…”, or “This might seem like a random question, but…” can be the difference between a group study sesh, and the entirety of Season Three of 24. And if all else fails, you can always opt for asking, “can you repeat that” after a teacher finishes explaining something to someone else. People love that.
5. Lastly, take every opportunity possible to exhibit how incredibly intellectual you are. Disagree with classmates, textbooks, authors, and the teacher at every possible chance. People like smart people. Remember, discuss with a person and be friends with them for a day, prove them wrong, no matter what lengths you must go to, and have a friend for a lifetime. I just made that up. Poetic. I know. Which reminds me, look forward to my next post: How to Write Poetry Good

I don’t know about you, reader, but I can’t wait to try this in my next class!!!  THANK YOU KYLE.

Happy Saturday!

<3Aranda