How to Give Tours of APU

It's not an easy job.  In fact, Business Week describes it as: 'The most stressful job in the nation".  But to some, "It's not a job, it's a lifestyle"-anonymous.  What is this job?

...Tour Guiding.

“Tour Guiding At APU”  -By: Alex Bolves

1) If you really want to be a good tour guide then whatcha you need to do is lie about almost everything to make it sound cooler. "This here is trinity hall, a little known fact about trinity hall is that it was built by Vikings who actually settled here long before any westward expansionist movements."

2) Once you've perfected the art of lying, they really seem to like when us tour guides back into something or step in a hole, although it rarely happens it seems to be everyone's favorite part of the tour, so stepping in holes and running into stop signs is probably a really good thing.

3) Oh a must do in order to be a good tour guide is kind of mumble to yourself instead of talking to the group, that always seems to go over well. If you do all this right then at the end of the tour they all leave and you can go home.

4) If you want to be a bad tour guide then you should probably show genuine interest in the people visiting the school. Everyone has their own story, not just the students but the parents too. It's almost kind of like a date, if you will.

5) You need to talk a lot to distribute the information, but, like on a date, ask about them, learn about what they’re passionate about, try to relate to them.

6) Everyone wants a used car salesman for a tour guide so to be a bad tour guide you should try and convey a sense of honesty, and the best way to do that is to actually be honest about everything you say.

7) The more you can include the group into everything you’re doing and saying on the tour the worse off you are. If you do all of this then at the end of the tour they all want to shake your hand and they clap for you and they ask you questions and want to be your friend, being a bad tour guide takes up too much time.

Thank you Alex.  You are so good at what you do!  

Dedicated to Livi, Angie, and Lesley.  Happy Dgroup Anniversary.  

<3Aranda