How to Pick a Bathing Suit That Won't Make People Stumble

How to Pick a Bathing Suit That is Modest and Won't Make People Stumble

By Tess Bates

Summer is almost upon us, and the dreaded issue for some of picking a bathing suit is coming. Most fashion magazines emphasize picking a cute bathing suit that shows as much skin as possible. But what are prude people, Christians who want to be modest, or those who dread swimming supposed to do? I mean, no one wants to make another stumble with their perfect body, or make other people feel insecure.

Well, I, Tess Bates, will tell you and help you pick out the perfect bathing suit for this summer.

For those who want to keep ridiculous tan lines: Women- wear a wetsuit. This is both unrevealing and will allow you to keep only your arms, head, legs below the knee, and feet tan. Men- Wear Jammers. They are modest. This will keep the manly tan of only legs below the knee tan, and will help you work on your top half. And for both men and women, wear goggles or snorkling gear. This will help you keep just your cheeks and forehead tan. If your whole face is tan, then you'll be too attractive.

For those who don't want too flashy of a bathing suit: Women- wear a one piece. But not just any one-piece. You should wear a sport one-piece. This will give the allusion that you're a competitive swimmer, and that you don't have time for the latest fashion trends. Men- wear a garbage bag. Men aren't supposed to be into the latest fashion trends or have cool board shorts. A garbage bag helps with that and is water resistant.

For Good Christians: Don't go swimming. It reveals too much skin and is too much fun. Unless you're getting baptized: then be sure to wear modest shorts and a tee shirt, but the shirt shouldn't be white.

For Those Who Want to Swim At Any Given Point in Time But Don't Have a Bathing Suit With Them: “Who says you need to have a bathing suit to go swimming.” - Julia Bates. Wear what you have on! If you have on jeans and a long sleeve shirt, just jump in the pool! This means that you don't need to spend frivolous money on bathing suits, and you're prepared to swim at any given moment!

I hope this advice has helped you! If you have any questions regarding fashionable bathing suits, refer to my sister, Julia Bates. She's good with that.

Happy swimming! Or not.

Tess Bates