Secret Saturday

This blog thrives on honesty.  So be honest.

...Is it bad to have a crush on your pastor?

For the sake of explanation, it's more of a "Hey, I respect you.  You know what you're talking about."  It's not a weird crush.  I'm not gonna start stalking him or anything!  ...

All of this introduces today's post:  

"How to Stalk Your Pastor"  By: Real Life Experience

1)  Memorize the Bible.  THIS IS THE ONLY WAY YOU GUYS WILL EVER HAVE A CONVERSATION.

2)  Park as near to his car as you possibly can during each of the four services you attend throughout the weekend.

3)  Sit in one of the first five rows.  Because of the stage lights, those are the only ones he can really see.  (TIP:  Flowers/hair accessories are guaranteed to make you stand out from the other pastor-crushers")

4)  Email him about something he's interested in, like:  "Dear Pastor, I'm really interested in Christian Apologetics.  Which books would you recommend?  Thank you!".  Don't email him back when he sends you the book list.  This secretly gives you the upper hand in your relationship.

5) When he makes mention of his wife in the sermon, smile and nod.  You are allowed to be jealous of her, but he wont feel like you're a threat to his marriage.  He'll even consider having Godly conversations with you later because of your obvious maturity.

6) Go to church by yourself.  He'll pity you and because Pastors are so kind-hearted, he'll secretly want to befriend you.

7)  Lastly, if you ever EVER EVER see him somewhere outside of church-NOTE THE DAY AND TIME.  Pastors have the tendency to live lives of routine.

Love Always,

ARANDA

*Pastor, if you read this I promise I'm not a creeper!  Someday we'll look back on this and laugh.

Blogging Day of Rest #2

Here's the 411:

1.  I had this really really good unicorn post planned for today
5.  Good thing I talked myself outta THAT ONE.
7.  No one can ever recover from a unicorn post.
4.  Roomz and I shot this really really good live blog.  It was 12 minutes.
2.  No one can ever recover from a 12 minute video blog.
6.  We still love Nick Fanton!
3.  This is the weekend of studying for finals.  I'm sure I'll need lots of study breaks, and I'm hoping they will inspire lots of new topics.
8.  We did not get boyfriends today.
11.  ALIVIA WENT ON A DATE!  Ask her about it.

Stay Joyful,
Love Aranda&Jen

Here are a few things you all get to look forward to this summer:

JEN IS GOING TO ALASKA FOR A MONTH.
I AM GOING TO CHINA FOR A MONTH.
We are going to tell you everything.
Travel with us?

Trinity Hall: Pass the Torch 2011

Next year I'm going to be an RA (Resident Advisor) and Jen is going to be an RAR (Roommate to the Advisor of Residents, or Resident Advisor Roommate).  This is how we found out which hall we'll have.  :)  I'm extremely excited.  Thanks for passing the torch Trinity!  We can't wait to move our creepiness to your building.

So long Bowles (we'll miss you).  Hello Trinity.
Love Aranda&Jen

How to Marry for the Perfect Offspring

I think it's time for a review...a recap on all-things near and dear to the 'Joy. Catch it.' blog.  So for those of you who are just now joining us, here in our headquarters, we thrive on obsessions.  These obsessions are:

1) Nick Fanton

2) Jeopardy

3) Jen Horchler and her scooter

4) Turtle necks

5) Fanny Packs

6) Getting Boyfriends

7) Making new friends

and, of course

8) Being creepy.

We also like to sometimes confuse and drastically change subjects.

How to Marry For the Perfect Offspring

1) Establish how sporty you want your offspring.  Find someone who has the build of a certain type of athlete.  EX.  “He’s tall.  I bet his kids would be good at basketball”.  OR “She looks good in a polo.  Her kids would be excellent golfers.”

2)  If you want smart-little-half-yous, then look for the guys who know how to fix all kinds of technology.  In the past, smart people were identified by the fact that they did or did not have glasses, but now with the invention of contacts, geniuses are harder to spot.  A guy who is good with computers, is bound to be super smart.

3)  There are dominant and recessive genes.  Throw a chart together so you know which of their genes will be dominant before you get married. 

4)  Marrying for the perfect offspring is a lot like running.  They have nothing in common.

5)  Lastly, do you really want perfect babies?  MARRY NICK FANTON. 

LoveForever,

ARANDA

Thank you for being so encouraging!  We love emails!!


P.S.  TOP FIVE SHOUT-OUTS OF THE DAY GO TO:
Hi Luke.  Hey Jon.  Hello Alivia.  What up dad?  MOM WHY ARE YOU SMILING!?  

ARANDOM POST: I'matworkandI'mblogging!

It's Tuesday/Book Topic day!

But, as usual, we wont be talking about books.  

I want to talk about the dog and cat food aisle in grocery stores.  BECAUSE THEY STINK.

That's as far as I can really go with that topic.  So now I'm going to do my dear friend Bryan Harkins a favor.  To all you single ladies out there, check.this.out.

Have a great day!

Love Aranda

How to Pick a Bathing Suit That Won't Make People Stumble

How to Pick a Bathing Suit That is Modest and Won't Make People Stumble

By Tess Bates

Summer is almost upon us, and the dreaded issue for some of picking a bathing suit is coming. Most fashion magazines emphasize picking a cute bathing suit that shows as much skin as possible. But what are prude people, Christians who want to be modest, or those who dread swimming supposed to do? I mean, no one wants to make another stumble with their perfect body, or make other people feel insecure.

Well, I, Tess Bates, will tell you and help you pick out the perfect bathing suit for this summer.

For those who want to keep ridiculous tan lines: Women- wear a wetsuit. This is both unrevealing and will allow you to keep only your arms, head, legs below the knee, and feet tan. Men- Wear Jammers. They are modest. This will keep the manly tan of only legs below the knee tan, and will help you work on your top half. And for both men and women, wear goggles or snorkling gear. This will help you keep just your cheeks and forehead tan. If your whole face is tan, then you'll be too attractive.

For those who don't want too flashy of a bathing suit: Women- wear a one piece. But not just any one-piece. You should wear a sport one-piece. This will give the allusion that you're a competitive swimmer, and that you don't have time for the latest fashion trends. Men- wear a garbage bag. Men aren't supposed to be into the latest fashion trends or have cool board shorts. A garbage bag helps with that and is water resistant.

For Good Christians: Don't go swimming. It reveals too much skin and is too much fun. Unless you're getting baptized: then be sure to wear modest shorts and a tee shirt, but the shirt shouldn't be white.

For Those Who Want to Swim At Any Given Point in Time But Don't Have a Bathing Suit With Them: “Who says you need to have a bathing suit to go swimming.” - Julia Bates. Wear what you have on! If you have on jeans and a long sleeve shirt, just jump in the pool! This means that you don't need to spend frivolous money on bathing suits, and you're prepared to swim at any given moment!

I hope this advice has helped you! If you have any questions regarding fashionable bathing suits, refer to my sister, Julia Bates. She's good with that.

Happy swimming! Or not.

Tess Bates

THE TRAGEDY OF MARSHAL

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN HACKED BY ALIVIA ERICKSON

This is a tribute to the one and only love of my life:
MARSHAL.

We met on a sunny day in October of 2009. I was a frightened, awe-struck freshman at APU taking a walk through a whole new world. The hot rays of the Californian sun were burning my face and shoulders as my eyes were burning out of their sockets. I hate wearing sunglasses. So there I was, walking down across the bridge on my way to the WALK when I saw him run past. He was magnificent. He dove into the bushes and hid from my gaze but I waited for him to return. I wasn't going to miss out on this opportunity for friendship. He snuck back out of the bushes and stayed on the pavement where I could admire him. He was a beautiful specimen. A wonderful lizard. I think he even smiled at me. We sat for a few awe-filled moments in each other's presence before he scurried off into the shade. It was love at first sight. Yes. It does exist.

We had a little deal me and my lovely lizard friend. We would meet outside of the RD's Mod in the shire on my way to D-group every Friday morning (His dwelling place was beneath their porch) and he would surprise me throughout the rest of the campus. Each time I got to see him was a magical moment and a light in my day. He was wonderful. But all that magic came to an end in one tragic event.

So there I was, on October of 2010, walking from my home in the Bowles to East Campus... it was a scorching hot day much like the day we first met ... I was walking through the Mods ... and I went to Marshall's special place where we would meet and spend time together ... and... and... and... there he was. Yes, he WAS there. However, he was lying on the ground. DEAD. SMOOSHED. YOU COULD SEE THE BIKE TIRE TRACK imprinted on his tiny body. I knelt down on one knee and placed my head in my hand. Tears flowed from my eyes and evaporated on the cement near his shattered remains. My heart was torn into two.


I will never be the same. I loved the little lizard with my whole heart and I'm still healing from this tragedy. I have not given up on finding his murderer. These are my suspects:
 - Tess BATES
 - Steven GROVER
 - Laura MELLER
 - Levi PETERSON
 - Nick FANTON
 - Jon FIRMAN
 - Jen HORCHLER
 - Tyler JANGAARD
 - Nick CADOODLE
 - Kevin PASCHALL
 - Jessie ERICKSON
 - The Cast of GLEE
 - Campus SAFETY

If you have any information on this terrible event please contact me immediately.

P.S. Happy Birthday KRISTEN! WE LOVE YOU!

How To Write Poetry Good Part 2

I've had this post hiding for a while, but it's dying to be let out into the world.  Kyle Greenberg...WOW...Thank you for being so creative, and for sharing your intellectualness with us.

 How to Write Poetry Good (Part 2)

By:  Kyle Greenberg

So I have heard complaints about my last batch of poetry tips. I’ve heard that they have worked too well; People are getting perilously close to winning dates with the objects of their obsession their individuals of intrigue. So why the complaints? – It is simple, they need new tricks. These potential dates are now use to the old tactics, and the people want new ideas on ways to creep out impress their desired loved ones. As I always say, give the people what they want. So, without further a due, How to Write Poetry Good #2:

Use literary devices: Metaphors, cerulean apologies, similes, personification, dehumanization, fragmental triades, litotes, hyperbole, caesuras, hyper-endies, and the list goes on (but that’s all I know…and I might have made some of them up). The frequent use of these devices screams that you are intellicated (a blend of intelligent and educated…also a word I made up…copy write pending). Also, if you somehow manage to use one correctly it will earn you even more points. But don’t worry, volume over accuracy here.

Create really mysterious titles: This is a good time to blend the advice from my last article about using awesome color names. For example, cerulean apologies (one of the fabricated literary devices from above).  But seriously, chances are, the person you are trying to attract with these poems has many gentlemen or gentlewomen suitors. You think they have time to read 100’s of poems a day? And trust me, most girls get at least that many e’ryday. I alone probably contribute at least half. Ok, I contribute most, if not all. But this fact necessitates that each poem has a really mysterious, intriguing, and often times confusing title.

Get creative! I’m not really sure how, but I hear it helps.

You are competing against me, so going that little extra step is absolutely necessary. Whether that means you write each line of the poem on a different petal of a beautiful rose, or you record yourself reciting your poems, slip into his or her room, place a pair of headphones on their ears, and then begin a month long process of conditioning a positive disposition towards your poem, every little bit helps. Though I don’t really suggest the latter, it can lead to some complicated legal issues.

Finally, just write from your heart. When it is a hard day, write. Write about what hurts. Write about why you are frustrated. When it is a great day, write about the beautiful things you see in life. Be vulnerable, put a little bit of yourself in each poem. No poetic tip will help you trick someone into feelings for you (or will it?). 

For this reason, your poetry needs to be for you first (or your mom). Write because you need to. Write because you need to create. Write because, as images of God, we are made to create. And that is what poetry is after, poetry is invention. Creation. When we write, we give life to a new and completely unique reality. We create a little self-contained system. The interplay between words, emotions, and ideas creates a world with its own unique rules, laws, patterns, and beauty………I’m just kidding! Oh my gosh, I totally bet you believed all of that.  Everyone knows poetry is just a random set of words thrown together and manipulated for the purpose of scoring a hot date with that cute girl from SOC: 310. Or that fly cat from COMM: 536. (!!!!)  

Remember that. 

-Kyle

There you have it!

Have a great Saturday everyone,

Love Your BFFs

P.S.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIFFANI!!!!!!!!  We love you!

Good Friday

Ladies and Gentlemen,

It's finally Good Friday (night).  (SO SORRY FOR POSTING SO LATE)!

Thanks to today's assistant Wikipedia, we have a real definition for you.  Because we know our April 1st post left you confused:

"Good Friday (from the senses pious, holy of the word "good"),^[1][2] is a religious holiday observed primarily by Christians commemorating the crucifixion of Jesus Christ and his death at Calvary. The holiday is observed during Holy Week as part of the Paschal Triduum on the Friday preceding Easter Sunday, and may coincide with the Jewish observance of Passover. It is also known as Holy Friday, Great Friday, or Easter Friday,^[3] though the latter normally refers to the Friday in Easter week."

And it has been an extremely GOOD FRIDAY.

But you know what today isn't? It isn't Tiffani's birthday!  

TOMORROW IS THOUGH!!!!!!  Congratulations my dear girl.  You are such a blessing in my life, and Im so glad we're going to be friends forever.  I. LOVE. YOU.  Readers, if you see/know/want to know Tiffani, wish her a Happy Birthday tomorrow!

Love, Aranda&Jen

Jen hasn't posted in a while. This is in case you forgot who she is.

*****N.F. ALERT-Where is Nick Fanton?  Whoever finds him gets $100 from Luke G.!  I have permission, and Simba said if Luke doesn't pay then he will.  It is your mission stalkers.  FIND N.F.

Dear Jon Firman.  Liz just walked by with her suitcase on wheels, and it sounded a lot like a scooter.  I thought it was you and ran outside.  HAVE FUN IN MEXICO.  WE MISS YOU.

Springtime

Dear Everyone in the Whole Entire World,

It was a day like any other day.  My cousin Jamie has been visiting me for the past few days and we decided it would be a good idea to go for a "Jog" this morning.  "I'll plan the route!" I said (because planning is what I do best).  "We'll go for a simple one mile run to the bottom of this easy hiking trail, then after hiking we'll run or walk the (simple) mile back. It'll be so much fun, Jamie!"

So off we went.

I should probably establish that I thought the simple one mile run was mostly downhill. And I told Jamie this before we started.  Did I lie? yesbutnotonpurpose!

WE RAN FOUR MILES.

And we completely missed the trail.
Before you think to yourself:  "She's just writing this to brag because she's pretending to be athletic."
FALSE.  I'll be the first one to tell you that today's experience kicked my butt.

And to those of you who run 12 miles a day who are thinking: "Why is she making four miles seem like such a big deal?"  BECAUSE I WAS EXPECTING ONE MILE.  And did I mention it was all uphill?

This picture is for you mom. And your new love of horses.

Enjoy Spring!
<3Aranda

Pictures

You know how sometimes you take a picture, but your eyes close because of the flash so you take another one?  

...but your eyes close because of the flash?

So you take another one.

but your eyes....

Have a great Wednesday!

Be joyful. We love you.

<3Aranda

Fanny (Pack) Necessities. By Alivia E.

It’s the blog post we’ve all been waiting for.  FINALLY!

YOUR FANNY (Pack) NECESSITIES:

By: Alivia E.

[** Disclaimer: This list is not for the FANNY PACKING FAINT OF HEART! This is for those legitimate Fanny Pack Die-Hards that see every moment they step outside their front door as an adventure into the wilderness... no matter where you may be. From storming streets of L.A. to the raging river beds of Alaska this fanny should hold just about everything you may need.]

Wheeere’s the chapstick?! Yes. The first essential item for you to slip into your handy dandy fanny is CHAPSTICK. I’m talking legitimate lip moisturizer. No one likes the distraction of dry, chapped lips during an adventure.

Your hopes and dreams: Yes. Where else would you keep them?

Wallet: CVS card, Blockbuster Card, Ralph’s card, Starbucks Card, ATM card, Credit Card, Debit Card, APU id card, your momma’s picture, a picture of your dog Tucker that your mom sent to you, a tuft of your grandma’s hair, and cash. What more do you need?

Cellular Device/ Back up Battery/ or Legitimate Radio AKA Legit Walkie Talkie: Yes. You sure did go out into the big outdoors/adventuring in order to get away from people. BUT. Turn off your phone/walkie talkie and keep it with you in case of dire circumstances (e.g. You’re hott love interest texts you or a bear is chasing you). If you’re only taking a stroll, just keep that C.D. on and ready.

Rape Whistle: HELLO? Do I need to even explain this one?

Water Bottle: Water is THE most essential nutrient. Please drink up. "water is the essence of wetness, wetness is the essence of beauty" -Zoolander. You can only last about 6 days without water.

Compass: It looks cool. You seem smart/legit.

Swiss Army Knife: Because my grandma would scold you if you didn’t have it when she needed to cut some bailing twine... plus you can open a can of beans with it..... plus you may need to whittle yourself a spoon... plus you may need to carve your name into some place you conquered (Aranda recommends carving your, and your love interests initials inside a heart)... plus you might be able to pick the lock to your parent’s shed with it... plus if you forgot your rape whistle it could be handy... plus... they look cool and you seem legit.

Tampon: Um awkward. Not that card board crap!... and yes MEN you TOO! Seen “She’s the Man” anyone?  

Lotion: Dry skin leads to decreased skin integrity which leads to possible skin lacerations which leads to increased risk for infection. Don’t make me go all nurse on you.

Pepper Spray: Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. Protect yourself.

Ipod: Have a throw back while you kick down. (Aranda recommends a Walkman with extra batteries.  Who doesn’t love listening to the same CD over and over again?)  Chillax to some tunes or Punch dance your RAGE out with a sickie beat.

Sharpie: Mark your trail. Mark your conquered territory. Draw some pictures on the sidewalk. Draw arrows to confuse other’s along your path- in doing so asserting your dominance. Vandalize some signs. JK that’s illegal.

Mini First Aid Kit: You or a bystander are likely to sustain some sort of injury during your adventure. Be the hero for yourself or another and pull out that life-saving kit!

Bobby pins/Hair ties: I’m pretty sure someone asks me for one of these every single stinking day. So be a friend and carry a pin.

Glasses: Please don’t be a safety hazard.

Notebook: It is imperative to have a book full of your thoughts, ideas, and observations. You never know when you’ll have inspiration. Be prepared to write/sketch everything down - a poem, a ditty, a grand scheme to dominate Azusa, a blog idea, a picture of your FH (future husband), your latest idea for a spacecraft to take you to the planet you imagined up earlier, or the whereabouts of your professor crush (JERANDA).   

Camera: It would be a shame if you could not document the observation of a rare never before seen feline or human interaction.

Legit Pen: What good is a notebook without your favorite pen. Please, I beg of you, find the right pen. This is imperative. A lousy pen will only distract you from your mission.

Nail polish: We we we so excited. We we we looking good. Oh you fancy, huh? Doubles as glue.

Tissues: To wipe away your tears after witnessing a beautiful moment. Like a full double rainbow. What does this mean? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI)

Gum: Mmm nothing like a piece of peppermint Orbits to lighten your mood, ward off hunger, or help you make a friend.

Socks: Keep yo toes warm.

Sunflower seeds: A snack and entertainment all in one. Here’s the how-to: Climb a tree, use your swiss army knife to carve your name into it, write with your sharpie the secret code for your minions to decipher on their next mission, pull out the seeds, and chow down bra. Then spit the speeds at bystanders. A sure-fire way to have some fun.

High Protein Energy Bar: Do not go all hypoglycemic on yourself, how do you expect yourself to have the energy you need to run from giant dinos or a really mad neighbor without protein?

Flashlight: To light your path.

Mini Bible: If you forgot your flashlight.

If you can’t fit all this in your fanny, you need a new one. Just saying.

Even Chuck Norris has one!

Thank you Livi!  I think it’s about time to go shopping.  What do you keep in your fannypacks, readers?

Happy Tuesday!  Have some fun and go to the Library!

<3Aranda

Alaska

Wow.  Talk about the best post of "Joy.Catch it." blog.

THANK YOU, NICK FANTON, FOR YESTERDAY'S POST!!!!!!

Tonight, I want to talk to you about Alaska.  Because all Alaskans have been asked the same questions hundreds of times.

No I don't have huskies, or a dog sled.  I have Brooklyn.  And she's the best.

I do not live in an igloo.  I live in a cottage. And it's adorable.

Yes.  We do cut down our own Christmas trees from our backyard.

Yes, we do catch, and eat, our own fish. Before that, we make them our friends and we hug.

Yes.  It's beautiful.  

And of course there are cuties!

Lastly, I just talked to my mom and it doesn't get dark there until 10:30pm this time of year. CRAZY RIGHT?  The days keep getting longer.  Alaskan summers are the best.

Visit Alaska.  You'll never regret it. 

<3Aranda

UPCOMING:

--->Alivia E. has prepared the post "Fannypack Necessities".  It's a must read for all you fanny packers out there!

-------->Kyle G. has sent us Part 2 of "How to Write Poetry Good".

--->I will continue writing during all this lovely free time.  SPRING BREAK=Favorite.

--------------->Who wants "In Style" posts?  We all know fannypacks, turtlenecks, and tucking our shirts in, are popular trends. What's next?  Wouldn't you like to know before everyone else?

*Do you miss Jen?  I DO!  Maybe when she gets home we can convince her to blog...
*****N.F. ALERT-He left APU for home today.  This is all I know.  When I find the exact location of his address, I will inform you.

*****N.F. ALERT

SUPRISE! SUPRISE! this is actually the one and only N.F.

yes it's true, Nick Fanton is writing this blog, I have hijacked Aranda's daily blog due to some concerns I have over her stalking me...


I am here to say that I am both proud and terrified of this supposed "fan club" that has been created in my name.. I mean they say imitation is the greatest form of flattery, but then again this isn't imitation.. so what I previously said does not matter... BUT... I am flattered.. If anything I have gained some new friends because of this and my current friendships have gotten stronger too!

I saw Aranda today and I told her I loved her and she said that it was "inappropriate" idk if she was being serious or as they say.. "playing hard to get".. I will update on this later


A wise person once told me, (coolnsmart.com) "The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them."
^^^ factoid of the day ^^^

(Random place holder)- I love italian food

So anyways, I will leave you with this, continue to stalk me but in return I will do my best to be more elusive and not be so easily seen by the eye of this blog.

But in all seriousness I think this is super funny and even if the obsession is pretend it boosts my ego in untold numbers.

SO keep on keepin on
    Sincerely, Nick Fanton

* I actually read this blog all the time and I think it is really funny
**Alivia Erickson... This is the part of the movie where you are amazed at my suave and smoothness within the internet and not just in person
***This is my first blog writing thing so dont be to mean to me about it
****A.K. ALERT.... she is sitting right next to me right now! i am so lucky!!! 

Five Minutes

It always seems to happen when we least expect it.
Our dreams coming true, I mean.

Today, as I was minding my own business, talking to my mom on the phone like I do twice a day, I saw a life in danger.  He was green, and looked lost.  I screamed his God-given name, but he didn't respond.  "Is he blind?"  I thought as he started heading toward the street where billions of cars were speeding by.  Before that I saw him walking into bushes.  He was obviously confused and needed my assistance.  "Are you lost?" I asked.  No response.  "Excuse me, mom, there's something I need to take care of.  I'll call you back." I said quickly as I hung up the phone.  Now that I was able to focus, I turned into a superhero.  I gently picked the guy up (he still hadn't said anything), and I brought him to the Wynn Pond.  The whole time I kept saying "You touch me and I'll drop you."  He didn't protest.  In fact, he dove right into the water when we got to the pond.  I wasn't surprise.  Some turtles are known for their love of water.

So here's the moral of the story.  Instead of talking to your mom for five more minutes, save the life of an animal.  They can't thank you, but your mom will.

<3Aranda

Spring Break FINALLY!

Cheesy lines I could, but wont say about Spring Break:

1.  Lets spring into break, everyone!

That's all I've got.
I better put the brakes on this conversation.

Being cheesy makes me uncomfortable.
BUT SERIOUSLY,
IT'S SPRING BREAK!!!!!

I'm looking forward to having the time to come up with new blog topics/interviews.  Have fun at home everyone!

<3Aranda

Blogs are always so much better with a photo.
So here's one:

Jen will only cook if we let her dress up.
*
 

*Photo used without permission

*****N.F. ALERT- This is a big deal folks.  What are we gonna do without stalking for a whole week?  Nick Fanton, if you're reading this, which I know you are, please text me updates over spring break, so I can inform all the readers.  We need to maintain your fame.  XOXOXOXOXOXO!!!!!!

Talking to People in Real Life

It's Thursday already, and that means ONE DAY until spring break.  A.MEN.

Today I want to talk about the importance of talking to people in person.  Because I think facebook has slowly limited my ability to think fast.  Here's an example-Have you ever had a moment, day, or year, where you just didn't know how to respond to anything anyone was saying?  As in, they say "Hey, how are you?" and you say, "MY DAD RAISES CHICKENS AND WE EAT THE EGGS."

Or they say, "What's your address?" and you say "MY PARENTS ARE STILL TOGETHER.  WE MOVE TO ALASKA EVERYTIME MY DAD GETS OUT OF THE MILITARY."

That scenario actually happened.
So I just want to encourage you today, no matter how dumb you feel sometimes, we all go through moments where what we say may make us look stupid.

Have a great day friends,
<3Aranda

Guest Blogger: Kyle Greenberg

I’m flying today, and I’m reminded of how lonely it is to fly. I’m surrounded by people, but I’m completely alone. And so are all of these people around me. Well, except for the group of 20 junior high field hockey players cackling at ungodly high pitch and volume across my gate. How do I know they are field hockey players? Simple, I asked. Well, actually I didn’t, but I like to pretend that they are. It is funnier that way. No offense to any field hockey playing viewers.

“How to Make New Friends on an Airplane”  By-Kyle Greenberg

1. Dress-up: No this is not my answer to everything, but it’s mostly my answer to most everything. There are hundreds of people in an airport. Probably 200 getting on your plane alone. How can you be expected to compete with all those other potential friends? Dressing up differentiates you from the everyday Joe Blow, or Sandra Blandra. Also, I have totally gotten free perks for wearing a suit when I fly (this is actually true…I really do dress up when I fly, and I have been offered first-class security several times. And overall, he airport staff treats me like an actual adult when I dress-up. You should try it some time). Dress-up and people will notice you. And noticing you is the first step of becoming your friend.
2. Become “that guy”: So your potential friends notice you, what now? Well, this is a little trick I like to call the “friend maker”. Board the plane and when the flight attendants start to do the rounds with the drink cart, yell out “first rounds on me!”. There are two options here. People will either think you are talking about buying them a round of alcohol, or they will think you made a clever joke about how you will pay for first round of soft-drinks that are free anyways. For the people in the first group, they will LOVE you. Everyone loves free alcohol. They will instantly become your friend, though it might come to a crashing end when at the end of the flight you inform the attendants that you will not actually be paying for the drinks, and they in turn make your new friends pay for their overpriced miniature drinks. For the second group, they have now noticed you and you have shown them that you are funny. On to the next step!
3. Pull out your computer, open a random program who’s primary function is editing (photoshop, logic, garageband, imovie, et cetera) and start frantically working on your most recent “project”. Make a lot disgruntled noises. This will attract attention. People will see that you are vigorously editing something and be interested. Then, all of a sudden, yell something along the lines of “its done!” or “I’ve finally got it!” or “that’s it. That’s it!”. When people ask, and they will, tell them that you work with some prominent member of the profession you pretend to work in. For instance, P Diddy has given you a lucrative chance to edit his up-and-coming single, and you finally just finished your perfect version. People will think you are rich, connected, rich, talented, and rich. A winning combination, and a for sure way to make new friends.

Thanks Kyle!!  I'll be trying these things this summer!

<3Aranda

~wisdomness of the day from Nik Koch: Going trick or treating on the highway dressed up in a deer costume is NOT a good idea.

*****N.F. ALERT- I lied last night.  I did see Nick Fanton yesterday!  I'm turning into a forgetful stalker.  This is not okay.

UPCOMING:

-------> How to write poetry good part 2

---->How to marry for the perfect offspring

Keep in touch!  Send me your topics. ;)

This weekend is Nationals for Women's Water Polo.  Tell Jen good luck!!!

Who Reads?

So I couldn’t figure out what to say.  The first thing that came to mind was:  “Maybe I’ll tell them everything I ate today.”  Then Emily Davis sent me some encouragement, and I decided I couldn’t end my every-day-blogging-streak. 

I stated in the very first blog post ever that Tuesday was a day that I would talk about books I’m reading.  How dumb was that?  College students don’t read!  We barely know how.  We’re okay at writing, and we’re learning how to listen, but reading is a whole nother issue. 

[Sidenote:  WHOA. WHAT?  Nother isn’t a word?  Spell check is trying to correct me.  Mom, why have you never corrected my speech before?  Maybe if I read more, gramher wldnnt bee sutsh uh problim/..]

But seriously, I’m reading this book for Intro to Literature called The Law and the Lady, and there’s this creeeeepy guy in there called Miserrimus Dexter.  The end.  I googled him because I was going to show you guys a picture, but nothing came up.  He’s a fictional character…maybe that’s why?

I'll leave you all with this:

-I did not see Nick Fanton today.  But I did see Luke, Nate, and Simba, at Jeopardy.  Are you staying updated with your Jeopardy episodes, readers?

-Livi is still the Person of the Week!  When you see her, tell her congratulations!!

Brooklyn=Best Dog in the Universe

<3Aranda

MONDAY: Obsessions

So you may be thinking "Wow.  These girls are obsessed with boys.  All they do is talk about getting boyfriends.  ...and Nick Fanton."

Because of this, we decided to do a post on how NOT to get a boyfriend.  But truthfully, it has been extremely obnoxious writing it, and Jen isn't home to help, so we're keeping you in suspense because it's almost midnight and that's the deadline!

In place of that post, perhaps I'll share some of our most recent obsessions:
*Boys!!!
*jk.
*Jen is obsessed with socks.
*I am obsessed with gel pens.
*We're both obsessed with making new friends.
*Alivia is obsessed with highlighters.
*Jen is obsessed with thinking about Alaska this summer.
*I am obsessed with crossing things out in my planner.
*Alivia is obsessed with yoga pants.


Here's something random to feast your eyes on:

This is my mom.

This is my dad on the far right.

Are they hardcore or what?  I'm so lucky.
<3ARANDA

Spring Love

It's springtime folks and you know what that means.

Yep.  People are falling in love left and right.  It's kind of beautiful, but mostly it's gross.  I mean, we know this blog is about getting boyfriends and confusing you, so I guess we're just confusing you by being mad that PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY GETTING BOYFRIENDS.

Our next blog post:  "How not to get a boyfriend".  Because we like uniqueness, and the crowd is saying "Be in a relationship", these days.  How about we avoid relationships all together (for now)! We'll have some tips for you soon, and reasons why being single can be a positive thing (sometimes).

In other news,
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR BIG WIN AT BOWLYMPICS TODAY EAST COURT!
WOOHOO!
East is talented at everything they set their minds to.  Way to win, team!
east east east east east*

UPCOMING:
--->"How to Make Friends On Airplanes"
------------->"How Not to Get a Boyfriend"
-------->Oh no, I just realized today is Person of the Week day! (!!) Today's person of the week is...JEN HORCHLER!

Okay okay okay.  Lets be for real...It's Alivia Erickson!!!!!!!  She's an avid follower/encourager/we couldn't write this blog without her.  Stay tuned for her upcoming post titled "Fannypack Necessities".

Alivia and Alanna.  "This could be you next week!!"

<3Aranden&Ja




*In all seriousness because we don't want to be rude.  Good job WEST COURT!


*****N.F. ALERT-  Nick Fanton was at Bowlympics today sporting a blue tank and sunglasses.  What are you hiding behind those shades NF? Your secret?  By the way world, NF is an awesome volleyball player.  But that's not his secret...

Secret Saturday

Today, is going to be a blogging day of rest.  But we'll leave you with this...

1) Keep on studying and doing your homework APU!  Spring Break will be here before we know it.
2) Haircuts really do make your hair healthier.
3) APU's Water Polo women won today!!  WOOHOO JEN AND KAITLYN AND EVERYONE!
4) I love traveling, so if I wrote about places to visit would that offend anyone?
5) I really love writing.
6) This is a "blogging day of rest".  WHAT AM I DOING?!
7) I'm blogging.
8) OH. MY. WORD.
9) We have new topics lined up, and they will be released soon!
10) If you don't have something nice to say...we will love you anyway.

<3ARANDA&JEN
Your BFFS for life.

How To: Date an APU-ty

Hello Friday,

Today we have the privilege of hearing from the wisest guy on campus!  He loves Jeopardy, socializing, movie making, and of course, cliff jumping.  If you ask him what he's good at, he'll be too humble to say anything, but we all know he's good at everything.  He's a legit rapper, and knows how to use Garageband.  Trust him!

How to date an APU-ty aka: An APU Beauty

By: Anonymous (That would be embarrassing!)

Hello, I am Nathan Froehlich and to start this off I have to first draw everyone’s attention to the fact that I was peacefully asked with blunt objects and sharp edges to write this “blog” and there will not be a law suit. When I finally came to the conclusion to write this I treated my wounds and began dissecting my past experiences with a tool known by some as memory. This entire  “How To…” is based entirely on success and fairy tale endings to ensure an experience of what Linda Howard defines in “Dream Man” as: Romance, specifically APU-mance. Here are a few easy steps to be swept off your feet and stolen into the arms of Love, or so that was the name the creepy man told me.

Step 1: Become a Christian. APU-tees have this new unheard of belief that is based off of ancient mythology and fairy tale magic that unfortunately you have to play along with to even be considered. Hint: (http://www.ehow.com/how_2284295_be-christian-man.html)

Step 2: Go to APU… Or at least fake it. Half of the female student body has already written out the words “When we met at APU…” on their pre-marital vows and the other half have thought about it. This also gives you the edge of familiarity and a topic to talk about, which by the way is the only topic they talk about.

Step 3: Become APU-tiful. Jersey Shore suggests GTL. I suggest Guitar, Talk, and Look like a man. You need all these in perfect unison to puzzle together the masterpiece they call APU-man. Most guys look like men but don’t know how to talk or play guitar. Others play guitar and talk but fail to take on the appearance of testosterone. When you find your triforce of these three attainable tasks then you will most certainly have an APU-ty just dangling off your now chiseled arm.

Side-note: I know talk and man appear to be a paradox, so let me clarify the word talk. Nod your head and say “yes” or “right” and when those don’t work just repeat their last sentence back as a question.

Step 4: Lunch Invite at the Cafeteria, Den, or Heritage so that your fellow hunters and gatherers will be aware of a caught (in love (Joke!)) prey. Meal-plan 1 : Your Wallet 0.

Step 5: Chapel Date. She imagines you have a soul and you get chapel credit.

Step 6: Get To Know Her: Start taking notes and memorizing “facts” so that when pop quizzes arise you can easily pass. When they said college is a lot of studying, this is what they meant!

Step 7: Marriage: Dating is for 18^th Century wusses! Ring by spring? Throw them a curve ball and ask in the fall.

So there you have it! 7 EASY steps to obtaining an APU-ty! 100% Guaranteed and tested by word of mouth and late night plagiarism. GOOD LUCK!

Thank you so much Anonymous-man!  

Have a joyful day everyone,

<3Aranda