Secret Saturday

This blog thrives on honesty.  So be honest.

...Is it bad to have a crush on your pastor?

For the sake of explanation, it's more of a "Hey, I respect you.  You know what you're talking about."  It's not a weird crush.  I'm not gonna start stalking him or anything!  ...

All of this introduces today's post:  

"How to Stalk Your Pastor"  By: Real Life Experience

1)  Memorize the Bible.  THIS IS THE ONLY WAY YOU GUYS WILL EVER HAVE A CONVERSATION.

2)  Park as near to his car as you possibly can during each of the four services you attend throughout the weekend.

3)  Sit in one of the first five rows.  Because of the stage lights, those are the only ones he can really see.  (TIP:  Flowers/hair accessories are guaranteed to make you stand out from the other pastor-crushers")

4)  Email him about something he's interested in, like:  "Dear Pastor, I'm really interested in Christian Apologetics.  Which books would you recommend?  Thank you!".  Don't email him back when he sends you the book list.  This secretly gives you the upper hand in your relationship.

5) When he makes mention of his wife in the sermon, smile and nod.  You are allowed to be jealous of her, but he wont feel like you're a threat to his marriage.  He'll even consider having Godly conversations with you later because of your obvious maturity.

6) Go to church by yourself.  He'll pity you and because Pastors are so kind-hearted, he'll secretly want to befriend you.

7)  Lastly, if you ever EVER EVER see him somewhere outside of church-NOTE THE DAY AND TIME.  Pastors have the tendency to live lives of routine.

Love Always,

ARANDA

*Pastor, if you read this I promise I'm not a creeper!  Someday we'll look back on this and laugh.

Blogging Day of Rest #2

Here's the 411:

1.  I had this really really good unicorn post planned for today
5.  Good thing I talked myself outta THAT ONE.
7.  No one can ever recover from a unicorn post.
4.  Roomz and I shot this really really good live blog.  It was 12 minutes.
2.  No one can ever recover from a 12 minute video blog.
6.  We still love Nick Fanton!
3.  This is the weekend of studying for finals.  I'm sure I'll need lots of study breaks, and I'm hoping they will inspire lots of new topics.
8.  We did not get boyfriends today.
11.  ALIVIA WENT ON A DATE!  Ask her about it.

Stay Joyful,
Love Aranda&Jen

Here are a few things you all get to look forward to this summer:

JEN IS GOING TO ALASKA FOR A MONTH.
I AM GOING TO CHINA FOR A MONTH.
We are going to tell you everything.
Travel with us?

Trinity Hall: Pass the Torch 2011

Next year I'm going to be an RA (Resident Advisor) and Jen is going to be an RAR (Roommate to the Advisor of Residents, or Resident Advisor Roommate).  This is how we found out which hall we'll have.  :)  I'm extremely excited.  Thanks for passing the torch Trinity!  We can't wait to move our creepiness to your building.

So long Bowles (we'll miss you).  Hello Trinity.
Love Aranda&Jen

How to Marry for the Perfect Offspring

I think it's time for a review...a recap on all-things near and dear to the 'Joy. Catch it.' blog.  So for those of you who are just now joining us, here in our headquarters, we thrive on obsessions.  These obsessions are:

1) Nick Fanton

2) Jeopardy

3) Jen Horchler and her scooter

4) Turtle necks

5) Fanny Packs

6) Getting Boyfriends

7) Making new friends

and, of course

8) Being creepy.

We also like to sometimes confuse and drastically change subjects.

How to Marry For the Perfect Offspring

1) Establish how sporty you want your offspring.  Find someone who has the build of a certain type of athlete.  EX.  “He’s tall.  I bet his kids would be good at basketball”.  OR “She looks good in a polo.  Her kids would be excellent golfers.”

2)  If you want smart-little-half-yous, then look for the guys who know how to fix all kinds of technology.  In the past, smart people were identified by the fact that they did or did not have glasses, but now with the invention of contacts, geniuses are harder to spot.  A guy who is good with computers, is bound to be super smart.

3)  There are dominant and recessive genes.  Throw a chart together so you know which of their genes will be dominant before you get married. 

4)  Marrying for the perfect offspring is a lot like running.  They have nothing in common.

5)  Lastly, do you really want perfect babies?  MARRY NICK FANTON. 

LoveForever,

ARANDA

Thank you for being so encouraging!  We love emails!!


P.S.  TOP FIVE SHOUT-OUTS OF THE DAY GO TO:
Hi Luke.  Hey Jon.  Hello Alivia.  What up dad?  MOM WHY ARE YOU SMILING!?  

ARANDOM POST: I'matworkandI'mblogging!

It's Tuesday/Book Topic day!

But, as usual, we wont be talking about books.  

I want to talk about the dog and cat food aisle in grocery stores.  BECAUSE THEY STINK.

That's as far as I can really go with that topic.  So now I'm going to do my dear friend Bryan Harkins a favor.  To all you single ladies out there, check.this.out.

Have a great day!

Love Aranda

How to Pick a Bathing Suit That Won't Make People Stumble

How to Pick a Bathing Suit That is Modest and Won't Make People Stumble

By Tess Bates

Summer is almost upon us, and the dreaded issue for some of picking a bathing suit is coming. Most fashion magazines emphasize picking a cute bathing suit that shows as much skin as possible. But what are prude people, Christians who want to be modest, or those who dread swimming supposed to do? I mean, no one wants to make another stumble with their perfect body, or make other people feel insecure.

Well, I, Tess Bates, will tell you and help you pick out the perfect bathing suit for this summer.

For those who want to keep ridiculous tan lines: Women- wear a wetsuit. This is both unrevealing and will allow you to keep only your arms, head, legs below the knee, and feet tan. Men- Wear Jammers. They are modest. This will keep the manly tan of only legs below the knee tan, and will help you work on your top half. And for both men and women, wear goggles or snorkling gear. This will help you keep just your cheeks and forehead tan. If your whole face is tan, then you'll be too attractive.

For those who don't want too flashy of a bathing suit: Women- wear a one piece. But not just any one-piece. You should wear a sport one-piece. This will give the allusion that you're a competitive swimmer, and that you don't have time for the latest fashion trends. Men- wear a garbage bag. Men aren't supposed to be into the latest fashion trends or have cool board shorts. A garbage bag helps with that and is water resistant.

For Good Christians: Don't go swimming. It reveals too much skin and is too much fun. Unless you're getting baptized: then be sure to wear modest shorts and a tee shirt, but the shirt shouldn't be white.

For Those Who Want to Swim At Any Given Point in Time But Don't Have a Bathing Suit With Them: “Who says you need to have a bathing suit to go swimming.” - Julia Bates. Wear what you have on! If you have on jeans and a long sleeve shirt, just jump in the pool! This means that you don't need to spend frivolous money on bathing suits, and you're prepared to swim at any given moment!

I hope this advice has helped you! If you have any questions regarding fashionable bathing suits, refer to my sister, Julia Bates. She's good with that.

Happy swimming! Or not.

Tess Bates

THE TRAGEDY OF MARSHAL

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN HACKED BY ALIVIA ERICKSON

This is a tribute to the one and only love of my life:
MARSHAL.

We met on a sunny day in October of 2009. I was a frightened, awe-struck freshman at APU taking a walk through a whole new world. The hot rays of the Californian sun were burning my face and shoulders as my eyes were burning out of their sockets. I hate wearing sunglasses. So there I was, walking down across the bridge on my way to the WALK when I saw him run past. He was magnificent. He dove into the bushes and hid from my gaze but I waited for him to return. I wasn't going to miss out on this opportunity for friendship. He snuck back out of the bushes and stayed on the pavement where I could admire him. He was a beautiful specimen. A wonderful lizard. I think he even smiled at me. We sat for a few awe-filled moments in each other's presence before he scurried off into the shade. It was love at first sight. Yes. It does exist.

We had a little deal me and my lovely lizard friend. We would meet outside of the RD's Mod in the shire on my way to D-group every Friday morning (His dwelling place was beneath their porch) and he would surprise me throughout the rest of the campus. Each time I got to see him was a magical moment and a light in my day. He was wonderful. But all that magic came to an end in one tragic event.

So there I was, on October of 2010, walking from my home in the Bowles to East Campus... it was a scorching hot day much like the day we first met ... I was walking through the Mods ... and I went to Marshall's special place where we would meet and spend time together ... and... and... and... there he was. Yes, he WAS there. However, he was lying on the ground. DEAD. SMOOSHED. YOU COULD SEE THE BIKE TIRE TRACK imprinted on his tiny body. I knelt down on one knee and placed my head in my hand. Tears flowed from my eyes and evaporated on the cement near his shattered remains. My heart was torn into two.


I will never be the same. I loved the little lizard with my whole heart and I'm still healing from this tragedy. I have not given up on finding his murderer. These are my suspects:
 - Tess BATES
 - Steven GROVER
 - Laura MELLER
 - Levi PETERSON
 - Nick FANTON
 - Jon FIRMAN
 - Jen HORCHLER
 - Tyler JANGAARD
 - Nick CADOODLE
 - Kevin PASCHALL
 - Jessie ERICKSON
 - The Cast of GLEE
 - Campus SAFETY

If you have any information on this terrible event please contact me immediately.

P.S. Happy Birthday KRISTEN! WE LOVE YOU!